You secretly dream about deep intimacy but each time you are with your partner you feel like something is off...
You are lying in bed skin-to-skin, yet you feel like you are miles away from each other.
Or if you are single it seems like you can never find “the right person”. Either way, you might start thinking about what’s wrong with you or your partner, get angry, and finally move away from the intimacy because your brilliant mind will find a million reasons as to why you’d be better off by yourself & you just settle for less...
But you never stop longing for more…
The actual truth might be that your desires, needs & and boundaries have never been communicated properly because nobody ever taught you how to do it making it impossible for your lover to co-create what would be best for both of you.
You might not believe that someone would want to create the intimacy that is thriving, so you settle for less.
Or you might not know what your true desires are, so how can you communicate them? Hey, give yourself some love & compassion if this resonates!
Take a breath here and think: do you truly believe that you can have love, and amazing intimacy without suppressing your desires?
If the answer is no, you might be holding a subconscious belief that you are not worthy of love & pleasure. There is this constant negative self-talk in your head that says that you need to work on yourself more, heal more, make more money, or improve your looks first etc. It’s just a never-ending story.
You might be simply afraid of being hurt, and that’s ok.
Intimacy requires opening yourself to being vulnerable.
We can’t experience deeper intimacy, pleasure and love if we shut down our emotions.
When you say to your mind “I don’t want to be hurt” or “I don’t want to feel my shame” it just understands the “I don’t want to feel” part and that means it shuts down all the BLISSFUL feelings and sensations too, not just the “bad ones”.
If that’s you, I want to say that you are enough as you are right now. Notice your emotions and sensations in your body while you are reading this
If there is a contraction or numbness, simply allow them to flow through your system. It is safe for you to feel. That’s the only work you should be focusing on right now: teaching your nervous system it’s safe.
It’s safe to love
It’s safe to feel pleasure.
It’s safe to connect to your body
& experience deeper levels of joy, intimacy & pleasure.